When You Wonder if You’re Doing Enough!?!

When You Wonder if You’re Doing Enough!?!

What has been the hardest part with this entire coronavirus situation?

Is it the fact we all became teachers overnight?

Was it being laid off?

Was it not getting that break with kids at school and being able to clean your house without cleaning around people?

All of the above?!? For me it was all of these; but also another big factor….

Was when I was laid off and my husband is still considered an essential person. He was the only one working and has been the only one sense March 24th.

Loosing my contributions to us

When I was laid off due to this pandemic, my husband stayed working. The copper mine was not going to shut down. Now, myself working as a waitress; it was obvious I was going to be laid off. Despite the governor inputing orders for those laid off back in March, that barely took affect last week!

I have not had an income at all sense April 1st. Yes; I was home with our children, yes; I was attending to my duties at home. Also, watching my husband be stressed because we went from a two party income to a single. Being a family of 8 is not easy. I felt worthless!!!

His comments from his own stress wouldn’t help! I understood he was stressed and supporting everyone. Yet, he would forget that this wasn’t a choice or due to poor work ethics. I went from the highest paid waitress to nothing. Everything he would say out of frustration, I had already said to myself.

Choosing Your Battles

I love my husband more then I can even explain. He was my best friend for a long time before he was my husband. He was the man for the first time I actually wanted to marry and for the right reasons.

Like most couples we have our own issues. We have done things to each other that hurt the other and we have said things that can’t be taken back. When my husband gets stressed he doesn’t always realize the comments he makes towards me! Lately, I’ve spoke up and strikes back when that wasn’t always the best option.

This entire situation of the pandemic has affected everyone’s lives in multiple aspects. Through the frustration, stress; and fear we have all forgotten how to choose our battles. I know that’s a true fact for myself and for my husband!

I’ve had to take a step back many times and think why I’m being a complete BITCH! Why is he being a complete ASS! Then I remember our entire lives have been turned upside down, and not just us adults but as parents we take on the confusion for our children as well!

Pandemic SUCKS

We can all agree that this pandemic has sucked in more ways than one.

But,

It helped me get back on track with the goal I started last summer of empowering women going through different situations. I may only be 34 but I’ve lived through nightmares I would not wish on my worse enemy. I wanted to be that girl that shared her story to help others who can relate.

Yes the pandemic has sucked; but it’s had amazing benefits also! Helping each other, and regaining those relationships with our children. Let’s face it life can get in the way of building a strong family foundation!

Seeing the Positives

I can’t believe it’s 1:00 am and I woke up out of nowhere wide awake and felt like writing.

Positives of this whole situation, was truly finding ourselves. Facing those inner demons we have all buried and not wanted to deal with. Seeing the beauty of who we are and who our children are becoming. Finding ourselves!

Those are all positives!

Regardless of any situation; we all need to take a step back and see the positives of that situation. Even if it was that hard life lesson that comes in out of nowhere. Everything, everyday is helping us become better today then we were yesterday! That’s something to always remember!

Couldn’t be more true and we always forget this!

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